Another Eulogy for Another Home

Nearly four years ago, I sat in my room at my childhood house in Windsor and typed out some thoughts. I had lived at that home for nearly 18 years, and the new family that was to live there was moving in the next day, and so recording some thoughts seemed the appropriate thing to do.

Here I am now, sitting in a room in my current home, knowing that I will be moving out in a manner of days, and so this seems like the appropriate thing to do.

In the five years that I've lived at the Dojo, I have changed. 22 to 27; college student to missionary; foolish to perhaps-less-foolish. After eight roommates, four blanket forts, pool parties, and many breakfasts, I only count myself as grateful. I sincerely thank the Lord for allowing me to live here and experience this life. It's not often that you get to spend half a decade of your life in a house surrounded by consistently awesome guys. For that, I'm sincerely grateful. 

But more than that, I'm grateful for how God has used this home to change me. There were many days when it was just me and the home, and these Dojo walls have seen their fair share of my thoughts, prayers, questions, dances, and the like. And it has been in those quiet moments that this house, and the memories it has captured, has burrowed its way into my being. I have grown bonded and connected with the walls, the rooms, the structure itself, with the incredible sense of peace and well-being this place has been known for. For some, it may have simply been a fun place where they happen to sleep, but for me, it is home, a safe haven of every kind. It has been a place of solitude, a place of rest, a place of growth, a place of friendship. And for that, I'm grateful.

I cannot presume that any other living situation will ever be like this one. Something about this house was unique and special, and while I can't quite put my finger on it (I like to give God that glory), I know full well it will be impossible to replicate. Not that this house needs to be replicated; we grow, we mature, we move on to different things, and this home has played its role in my life. However, it has been in this reflection that I've come to be so incredibly grateful for the gifts living in this house for five years has bestowed upon me.

And so it is with such a heart that I say goodbye. Goodbye to the comraderie, the moments of seclusion, the secret stories which live in the floors, walls, and ceilings. Goodbye to the legends, both actual and embellished. Goodbye to the Saturday morning cartoons and breakfasts, goodbye to the moments of men praying, goodbye to the sheer fun we all had. Chapters of life are written and finished, and with yet only a sentence fragment remaining for this chapter, my reflection has guided my heart and thoughts to simply one thing: 

I am grateful.

-Stephen, Sensei Forever

Thanks to all the other senseis for always being awesome.

Kind of like an Eulogy for a Home

So here I am.

5:37 am I start this thing, sitting in the empty shell that used to be my room, and my emotions are entirely mixed. In almost 5 hours, the new owners of this house will be here, and move their stuff in. In 5 hours, we have to be out of here. Out of this place that I've called home for almost 18 years.

Back in 1992, my dad designed and built this house himself. I remember he and mom taking a 4-year old Stephen and his siblings to a random yard filled with towering weeds, setting down a blanket, and having a McDonalds picnic. I remember him saying, "This is where the dining room is going to be," and that's what happened. My parents designed this house for specific purposes. They had a vision, and enacted it, and it has become that place where you most feel comfortable since November of 1992.

However, it is safe to say that this place, this home, has served its purpose. The youngest just graduated high school, and is moving on herself, and the rest of the children have already moved on. At the same time, God is calling my parents to bigger and greater things across the country. So it comes to this, an empty house.

While this is sad, two thoughts are swinging through my head constantly.

The first is that this place is special because it is where the many good (and bad) memories occur. That said, we, my family, are the vessels for those memories. This is but a mixture of wood, drywall, and carpet, no? Are we not the ones who carry the memories forward? We don't need a house to remember the fun and/or interesting times that occurred here. My family still has each other, and that's by far the most important part. While we lose the representation of those memories, we still carry them with us.

The second is that this was never my home in the first place. This world was never my home. My true home, and the place I truly long for, is in the heavens with my precious Jesus. Jesus said, "In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you." (John 14:2) In the same way that my earthly father built a home for me, my heavenly father has already built a home for me. That is my true home, the one only accessible through saving faith in Jesus Christ: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6, one of my favorites)

My home is in heaven, with Jesus. This house that I'm sitting in, ultimately, means nothing. What really matters is that I prepare myself for my future, eternal home.

Lord, use me before taking me home! Oh, how I long to be there, Jesus, but I have tasks here on earth to complete for you. Please constantly give me strength and clarity, that I may complete your tasks awesomely. And Jesus, allow the new owners of this house to have the same good memories as we did. Bless this place, make it a place of peace and warmth. Thank-you for all the good times, and thank-you for a place to move on towards. You are my God, and I worship you eternally. You're beautiful, my Yahweh.

-Stephen

A New Year, A New Christmas List

It seems that as I grew up throughout the years, my Christmas list grew up along with me.

When I was ten years old or so, my list reflected my age. It was filled with the objects that your typical ten-year old thought was totally awesome. Power Rangers action figures. Spider-man posters. Basketball cards. Mario Kart 64. (Although, I promise you I wasn't this kid.)

Around the age of 13 or so, the list matured and had things like music, Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2, and cool clothes. When you're 13, nothing mattered as much as fitting in.

Of course, at the age of 17, my list was different, filled with video games and parts for my drum set.

Right now I'm 22, and this year I don't have a Christmas list.

At least, not a typical one, filled with items and merchandise that can be easily bought from a store in the mall.

If I did write out a Christmas list, the number one thing would be to spend time with the people I love. I don't get to see my family that often, so just being with them is all I want. Being able to spend an evening with my girlfriend decorating a Christmas tree sounds absolutely incredible. Hanging out with friends who moved away but are home for the holidays is going to be great fun. Being with these people is easily the most important part of Christmas.

Number two on my list would be the Christmas experience; looking at houses with amazing Christmas lights, nights curled up by a glowing tree with a fireplace nearby, the joyful music, and of course, peppermint hot cocoa.

Number three on my Christmas list would be the specific traditions my family has. Christmas wouldn't be Christmas if I didn't wake up on Christmas morning to the smell of freshly baked cinnamon buns and the promise of homemade orange juice. I could never go a year without waking up early and playing video games until the sun shines on our Christmas tree (my own personal tradition). Of course, attending the Christmas Eve candlelight service at the church I grew up in is always a treat.

It's those things make Christmas special, not the gifts.

The material possessions that so strongly held my attention in the past have seen me move on.

They have been replaced with reflections on what Christmas really means. About how it's about a baby who lived 2,000 years ago but has saved my life today. About how my family is the most important thing and why it's so important to appreciate them.

It is those things that would dominate my Christmas list for this year.

Of course, I'm 22 now, and as life changes, I expect my Christmas list to continue to change with it.

It makes me wonder; what will my list look like when I'm 25? Or even 30? I'll probably be married by then, and my Christmas list would probably be filled with the best wishes for my wife and children, and to start some good traditions for my kids that can help define Christmas for them.

What will be important to me when I'm 40? Will my Christmas list that year have power tools in it, or something more like family unity and stability as children grow older and more mature?

How about when I'm 60? What will I care about when I'm that age? Grandchildren, perhaps? Who knows. It's a long way off.

What I do know is that Christmas is always a special time, one filled with joy, reflection, generosity, and family. And just like every year is different, so is each year's Christmas list different, changing and growing up with me the whole time.

That said, being able to spend Christmas with loving family and friends will always be at the top of my list, because no matter how old I get, family will always be the most important thing about the holiday season.

Thankful for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is awesome.

The annual gathering of family and food is always a pleasant experience in my household. The food is always succulent and generous in portions, and the talk around the table is entertaining.

There's enough wild conversation to keep things fun, but nothing ever gets out of hand. Playful banter bounces around the table frequently, and although there is occasionally a real hurtful statement made -this family is not going to be politically correct anytime soon- everyone leaves with a smile on their face.

Delightful is a great word to describe this year's event.

Around fifteen people were there enjoying the day, a welcome decrease from the thirty that shared turkey last year.

There have been virtually no divorces within my family, so there are no strange ex's that show up or anything. The same stable family comes together every year. It's great to have a family that is close enough to not have potential awkwardness or even hostility.

Truly, I am thankful for my family and the times I get to spend with them all.

Many people don't have that experience that I do, whether it's due to broken families or harsh memories from previous Thanksgiving.

For some people who live in poverty-stricken countries, having a bountiful feast is incredibly far removed from reality.

This reasons are a huge reason for this gratitude. My experience is rare. So I cherish it.

Thanksgiving also means that it's the beginning of Christmas season, which at my house means decorating.

I love decorating my parents' house, because the end result is always something that resembles a warm glow, and truly inspires Christmas spirit around the house.

This particular season, once all the decorations were finished, I realized that the reason why the lights are so cool is because they represent the great times behind it.

Those Christmas lights are really just a cover for the fact that Christmases at my house are always great. Without a great family, great experiences, and great memories, the lights are just that: lights.

At Thanksgiving, without the great family times, the turkey is just that: turkey.

So I try to treat every moment with my family as precious, because that it is.

Those of you out there who have families that meet every year for food, understand how awesome that is, and how many people don't get that opportunity.

Cherish those moments that you get, because you may never know how many you will have left.

As for my family, Thanksgiving is great, but I can't wait for Christmas, because it's more of a great family moment.

The Aliens Have Arrived in ABC's New Show "V"

ABC's new show "V" wastes no time getting to the core of its plot. Mere minutes into the pilot episode of "V" the audience is treated to an alien invasion, as alien motherships show up and suddenly hover over nearly every major city worldwide, not unlike the movie Independence Day.

Unlike Independence Day, though, these "visitors", led by the attractive human-like Anna, claim they come in peace, and attempt to set up diplomatic relations with the worlds' countries.

The first episode is filled with mystery, scenes of awe, and plenty of intrigue, and sets up what looks to be, at the very least, an incredibly interesting show.

For what it's worth, this review will be discussing important plot points of the show, and the best way to enjoy the show is to go in knowing as little as possible. You have been warned.

From the start, the alien visitors in "V" are nice, but extremely unsettling. These visitors seem just about perfect, and while they seem to have good intentions, there's something inherently untrustworthy about them.

Citizens notice this too, and there are a good number who claim that this particular interaction with the visitors is part of a bigger scheme to destroy all human life.

Others side with the visitors, impressed by their apparent peacefulness and amazed by their healing powers and advanced technology.

Throughout most of the first episode, there is an undeniable tension as you truly don't know who to trust.

Then the last scene occurs.

The last scene of the first episode shows beyond the shadow of a doubt that the visitors are, indeed, plotting something that humanity won't like.

A fight occurs during which one of the main characters, FBI agent Erica Evans, discovers that her partner of seven years was a visitor all along, as part of the first wave that happened years ago to infiltrate the humans.

By the end of the first episode, all intensity surrounding the aliens' true intentions is gone. Instead, the show takes on a vibe not unlike Invasion of the Body Snatchers, where you don't know who you can trust, as anyone could be a visitor.

This is much less interesting than the mystery surrounding whether the true intentions of the visitors.

The second episode is a definite decrease in quality compared to the first, as close to nothing actually happens. In only a day after watching it, the episode has already faded from memory.

The second episode lacks much of the excitement and intrigue the first had, while trying to build on the plot, but only adds tidbits of information.

Putting both of the episodes together creates an uneven experience, one that begins with excitement and mystery but ends with disappointment.

Not all critics agree. IGN, a well-known website covering entertainment, liked the first two episodes, saying of the second, "Overall though, this was a good follow-up episode to the pilot." They called the show promising, and look forward to its future.

The Miami Herald said the show had anti-Obama messages, but even so said, "With or without the political sheen, V is sweeping television storytelling at its best."

The New York Times wasn't as kind, saying, "The ideas in “V,” about alien encounters and mass delusion and media manipulation, are enticing. It’s too bad that they’re floating around in a show that at this early stage, is so slapdash and formulaic in its storytelling."

Currently, "V" seems to be at a crossroads. It could get better, or it could definitely get worse. To this reviewer, it seemed to be an unwise decision to reveal the true intentions of the visitors' plot so early. This element could have been sustained for longer episodes, making for a more intriguing show.

To be fair, only two episodes of "V" have aired so far. It has a strong-enough premise that the series could probably go either way.

Although "V" is off to an uneven start, it has the potential to be incredibly interesting, and is, at least, worth checking out.

"V" airs on Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on ABC. Previous episodes are available to watch at hulu.com or abc.com. Only two more episodes will air before the show goes on a break until the spring.

Don't Stress Out Over Stress

November.

Students know this time as a time filled with stress, as the school semester that once seemed so long now has a mere four and a half weeks left before finals. (Yes, that's correct fellow students: Only four weeks.)

With only four weeks left, the once-distant due dates for research papers and final projects are no longer creeping up on us students, but instead are hurtling towards us with reckless abandon.

Many classes have over 50% of their grade determined in these final weeks, and with added pressure coming from the impending craziness of Christmas, students can feel the stress oppressively pulsing through their veins.

It's incredibly easy to get overwhelmed, isn't it?

One word of advice. Don't.

There are ways to control the madness.

First, simply practice good time management. That episode of House can wait, you know.

Look at your schedule and allocate time for school work based on accurate estimates of how long it should take to complete that work. You would be surprised how productive you can be when you take a little time to create a schedule for your life and stick to it!

Second, just start your work. Seriously. Just starting the assignment makes it so much easier to finish. Don't procrastinate. Starting the assignment is half the battle.

Third, when you create your schedule, be sure to pencil in some relaxation time. Once you work for an hour or two, why not take a ten minute coffee break?

Why not take a quick stroll around your neighborhood? Taking a quick break can really clear your mind and continue to prepare you for the work load ahead.

Finally, the biggest advice to offer is the simplest: Take a breath, calm yourself, and look at the big picture. How much of a difference in your life will an "A" instead of a "B" really make?

Sure, in some cases it can matter quite a bit, but in most cases, we tend to stress over things that we have given inflated importance to. Reread that last sentence, and think about it. Isn't it true?

Half of our stress is not the work load itself, but the importance we place on it. It's not only important that we get that paper done, but also that we get the grade we want on it. If you take a second and truly evaluate the worth of the assignment, your stress level can drop dramatically.

It seems that in the middle of all the craziness that is the end of the semester, our view on life can become incredibly narrow, as if it seems like the only thing that matters is what is happening in our lives right then.

It feels as if everything doesn't get done the way it's supposed to, the world will crash and our lives as we know it will end.

But they won't.

The truth is that it doesn't matter how you do on your paper; Christmas will still come. It doesn't matter what grade you get on your final; The seasons will still change. The sun will still come up tomorrow morning.

God is ultimately in control, not us.

Isn't that awesome? Isn't it awesome that we don't have to worry about the most basic facts of life? No matter what we do, the world goes on. The stars still shine, the plants still bloom.

I can stand outside and watch the amazing work of an infinite God occur all around me. It is then that the Bible verse Psalm 46:10 comes to life.

"Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

God himself asks us to slow down, take a breath, be still, and recognize his divine hand at work. It's amazing how much pressure is taken away when we realize that we are not in control.

Personally, I am forever thankful that God is in control and not me. Knowing me and how I operate, if I were in control of everything, it would be a chaotic mess. But imperfect me is not in control; God is.

What this means for school is that we, as students, need to do the best we can do on our work. After that, though, we don't have control over it. Once that paper is turned in, there is nothing we can do to affect the outcome.

We need to do well on the assignment, sure, for that is the only thing that any of us do have control over. Once it's turned in, however, an all-powerful and loving God takes care of the details.

That's awesome, if you think about it.

Ultimately, if you want to do well in these waning weeks of the semester, I urge you to realize what you do and do not have control over, and only try to control those things whose outcome is affected by you.

When you focus solely on those things, you'll naturally find your worries will decrease, and your assignments will be easier to complete.

In the meantime, take a little time to wonder in the world around you.

Check out the sun as it peeks through the trees.

Witness the explosion of life that happens near the river.

Stand in awe of the fact that there is so much more going on in life than your final paper.

It really puts things into perspective.

Of course, in the meantime, get your work done. But once you're done, give up control and realize that God has it all in his hands. It just may take all the worry out of your system.

Besides, life is too short and beautiful to worry.

Dan Walters: "The Last Grown-Up In Sacramento"

Dan Walters doesn't need a witty phrase or a one-sentence opening to catch your attention.

Instead, Dan Walters takes a look at the big picture of California politics, with his straight-forward, almost lecture-like analysis leading the way. His near-daily columns for the Sacramento Bee explore the world of the capitol from the viewpoint of a longtime observer.

Dan Walters began his career in journalism at the age of 22. His experience in covering California politics started in 1975 when he started writing for The Sacramento Union's Capitol bureau. It wasn't until 1981 that his column about Sacramento politics began, and in 1984 Walters moved to the Sacramento Bee, where he continues to publish his columns, still specializing in California politics.

Walters' columns are quite cynical, but when the job is to cover the always changing and often-frustrating field that he does, that type of mindset is usually needed. When you read his columns, you can tell that his insight on the issues that arise in the capitol are derived from a lifetime of experience. Walters knows how the game of politics works. He knows the players and who has the power. He understands California's past and how that affects our current situations. Ultimately Dan Walters knows what he is talking about.

However, just because Dan Walters knows what he's talking about doesn't always mean the reader will know what he is talking about.

Walters' columns are not entirely accessible. They're fine and deliver great insight into issues if the reader is already familiar with details, but if the reader does not already follow California politics, it is easy to get lost in the middle of all the names and organizations being mentioned.

Perhaps the point of Walters' column is not to inform the ignorant, but rather to enrich those who know enough already, and that's fine. However, even for someone who is in the know, Walters' writing can be dry, often simply rehashing old information rather than contributing to a discussion.

Other times, though, Walters truly brings something new to the table. A recent article discussing the water problem in California shows how previous state legislation and current land developers are key players in the issue. Another recent article highlights the trouble of gerrymandering district lines, which will be a hot issue in 2010.

Walters' columns have a conservative slant to them, although he often criticizes both Republicans and Democrats at the capitol, offering honest criticism of anyone who doesn't do their job correctly.

Walters wrote an article over the summer that criticized the new budget for California, calling out both the Governor and the State Assembly and Senate for using tricky accounting methods and borrowing to help close the state budget deficit. This column prompted popular radio talk show hosts Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty to declare Dan Walters "the last grown-up in Sacramento" for his realistic stance on California's budget woes.

In his personal life, Walters enjoys grown-up tastes as well. He said that he likes to spend as much time as possible on the Sacramento River with his boat. Walters is even the treasurer of the Sacramento Yacht Club.

He enjoys spending time with his current wife of 14 years. He was married to another woman for over 30 years. He currently has three grown daughters, with three grandsons.

His column is syndicated throughout California, appearing in over 50 state newspapers. His columns, while sometimes dry and hard to follow, can offer good insight to the carnival that is California politics, and they are well worth reading.

You can check out all of Dan Walters' most recent columns by clicking here.